Things did not go according to schedule. At all.
The average person was a 1 in 18,000 chance of being murdered.
If the person is trans, that chance turns into 1 in 12 chance of being murdered.
Think about that for a moment.
My week scares me.
Tonight: Sort & delete files on old computer, organize business files on external HD, clean carpets in 6 rooms, scrub tile in 3 rooms, burn instrumentals to disk, find lyrics and other important papers, draw Easter card for mum, put mum’s sort of music on extra iPod for Easter gift, pack for holiday.
Tomorrow: Doctor’s appointment, computer appointment, install music system on new computer, mow mum’s lawn, transfer files from external HD to new computer.
Saturday: Album rehearsals, Easter dinner, glow-in-the-dark egg hunt, edit duet tracks on new computer.
Sunday: Easter breakfast.
Sunday/Monday/Tuesday: Finish cleaning house, sort paper crates, figure out what the hell I’m going to do abooooout….
Wednesday: Really important official meeting I need to have a portfolio for and everything and idek wtf I’m even doing because how do I adult?!?!?! But if I do this shit right and it all goes well I may be legitimately involved in a television station. Not a show. A station. A station with a team that’s filming a couple shows “you might be interested in working on.” (They’re paranormal shows. You bet your ass I’m interested omg) Oh, and another team that’s currently filming comedy sketches AND A MOVIE. A friggen’ movie you guys. And I could be a part of all that if I do this right but how am I supposed to do this right when I’ve never had a real job in my life and my skills are all over the place and salkfhsdiuljhgb. o_o But… But a movie. And tv shows. Guys. This is huge. This is so friggen huge. And yes I am panicking over this like a squirrel caught in a cat’s yard. But but but… *whispers* what if it works though?
::EDIT:: After deleting like 5k files today, I just did a quick look at what’s left to sort. There’s like over a hundred thousand files left to go through. I am so not doing this all tonight. Hell no. Gonna go do carpets and I’ll deal with this shit another day. @_@ ::EDIT::
It sucks ‘cause you have these great friends and you think, “Wow, I’m so blessed! I know that these people will be here for me no matter what.”
Then you get sick… and you lose those friends because of something you can’t control, something you’re fighting against with all your strength,…
So I hope you don’t mind me reblogging a really personal post… But I wanted to reblog it so I could let you know that a lot of us with chronic illnesses lose people. It’s a terrible thing and people really should grow up and learn to understand. But some people just don’t want to be bothered.
There ARE better people out there though. There are people who will support you and be your friend through hard times. Through illnesses that hurt you whether there’s a name for it or not. A lot of us are lucky to have names for some of the things we suffer from. That helps to explain the issues to people. But there are people who’ll be there through the nameless ones too. Not too long ago I was dealing with another round of unexplained fever chills combined with my entire core going cold as ice. They still don’t know what was wrong. But we’ll do more tests when it comes back again. Cause it will. It always does. *sigh*
Point is, when this crap happens, things have to be put on hold. I can’t get places and do things or keep up with internet stuff. So I’m not the usual uplifting and productive person I try to be most of the time. There are people who leave my life every single time an ailment knocks me off my feet. But they were only meant to be in my life for the short-term. People teach us things no matter how long or short their stay is in our lives. But the people who hold out through the ups and downs, illnesses and tests, diagnosis and treatments. They’re out there, and they’re worth your time. I promise.
Just keep your chin up as best you can. Remember that there are people who care about you so very much. Just sometimes they’re not always the people you expect. You can get through these health concerns and find answers or at least ways to cope. You’re going to be okay, and you will still have people standing by you when you’re feeling better. <3
"I… struggle with anxiety sometimes, especially when promoting films like this. Just the life of doing what I do, being in the public eye, it’s a stressful environment." -chris evans
For my dear dear friend who’s struggling with a role right now. Anxiety is a problem for so damn many people. It is so hard to work through it, and yes, sometimes it gets to be too much and you bumble about feeling like an idiot. Sometimes it’s so debilitating that everything grinds to a halt while you freak out and panic and desperately try to remind your lungs how to take steady even breaths.
But y’know something? The horrors of anxiety don’t have to hold you back. You can find ways to work around it and through it and still do just exactly what you want to do in life. I believe in you, and so do so many other people. And you are not alone. Chris Evans may be our acting poster boy right now. But anxiety is something people in all fields struggle with. <3
My new iMac is bigger than my TV. Seriously. I can’t wait to start doing photo and video review on that thing. It’s friggen’ huge. Going to copy over the investigation files to that computer today and possibly install Logic Studio so that’s all ready to go. Some other minor stuff too probably, but mainly that. Taking it a bit easy today still.
Didn’t drink any coffee or tea or energy drink the last couple days and my headache is kiiiiiilling me. But, gotta go through ouchie withdrawals if I want it to be effective tomorrow and tomorrow night. Much work to do before leaving town for Easter weekend. Gonna be so amazing you guys. Life is treating me quite well atm. Keeping my fingers crossed that doesn’t change! :D
There is a house party booked for May 10th, and a sale booth planned for summer. More info on both coming soon, but I thought I should let you guys know something about it. Especially since it’s been a few months of silence! Things have been very busy trying to balance home life, this business, and helping to run Guarding The Crossroads – GTC.Follow that page for more info on what I’m up to in…